How the Calbuzz Blogroll Will Cover the Budget Deal


A new poll by the Calbuzz Department of Market Research and Your Conclusion for a Price Surveys confirms our readers have “had it up to here” with state budget stories, chief poll taker and staff psychiatrist Dr. P.J. Hackenflack said Monday.

According to the poll, 11% of readers say they are “extremely bored” with the budget; 23% describe themselves as “extraordinarily bored;” and 56% say “we’ll come down to your office and eviscerate every one of you bastards if you run one more goddamn budget story.” The remaining 10%, still hung over from Hackenflack’s Inaugural Dinner, had no opinion.

Because perception in politics is just as important as reality and as a service to our readers, we’ve decided to start acting like there is a budget deal. So here’s the round-up of how it was covered around the state:

Brown, solons reach surprise budget accord: In a stunning end to the long budget battle, Gov. Jerry Brown announced early this morning that he and key Republican lawmakers have reached agreement  on a new state fiscal blueprint. Unfortunately, the big event left Brown unable to speak English: “Manus manum lavath,” he kept repeating to reporters. Kevin Yamamura and David Siders Capitol Alert

How the deal went down: Moments after Gov. Jerry Brown and a handful of Republicans struck a budget deal, a dazed-looking Sen. Bob Huff of Diamond Bar, the GOP leader, stumbled out of the governor’s office  and bitterly complained that First Lady Anne Gust Brown had locked him in a closet and subjected him to hours of loud music from her I-Pod playlist. “She made me listen to the Spice Girls, TLC, Riot Grrrl and I don’t even know what else. Shame on her.” Shane Goldmacher PolitiCal

Evil backstabbing liberal RINOs must be crushed: I just got off the phone with Grover Norquist, and he said that the renegade sell-out Gang of Four did his Tax Pledge with a pinky swear, so it’s a real solemn oath that stays in effect their whole entire lives, just like the Mafia. Boy is he pissed. Just wait until John and Ken find out. Jon Fleischman Flashreport

Brown shows true colors by caving into cult: By betraying the progressive community’s principled demand to impose a 93% personal income tax rate on everyone who’s not a public employee, Jerry Brown has revealed himself as yet another weasely corporate Democrat surrendering to the Two Santa Claus demands of the Republican Zombie Death Cult. Robert Cruickshank Calitics

Cute Welsh Corgi brokered tax deal: First Dog Sutter Brown gave an exclusive interview to Shaky Hands Productions! He rolled over on his back with his little paws up in the air and those cute brown eyes got all white from being stuck up the back of his head and everything, and then Comrade Garofoli asked him how the budget negotiations were: “Ruff, ruff,” he said. Carla Marinucci and Joe Garofoli Politicsblog

Skelton: Finally the adults show up: Thirty years ago, Jerry Brown was young and stupid and liberal. Today he’s old and slightly less stupid but, most importantly, a bipartisan moderate centrist. Partisanship, grrrrr. Harrumph, grumble, grrrr. George Skelton Capitol Journal

Walters: False elation of budget deal portends gloomy future: Many years ago, when I was a young police reporter, terrible things happened that made me understand everything always gets worse. So pay no attention to the so-called “budget deal” reached in the Capitol. Just wait. Dan Walters in the Sacramento Bee

Jarvis is turning over in his grave: Californians do not want higher taxes. Howard Jarvis told me so. He whispered it right in my ear: “Jon,” he said, “Californians do not want higher taxes.” So send money right now to the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association. It’s the only hope you have. Jon Coupal Fox and Hounds

72 Fundraisers Slated for Tonight: Budget deal. Bah. They cut the money for restaurant nutrition labeling inspections to pay the welfare chiselers. One thing never changes, though: they’ll all be shaking down lobbyists with expensive booze and food, starting tonight. Check out my  restaurant reviews. Greg Lucas California’s Capitol

What it means for state bureaucrats: LAO confirms DOF statement that BOE receipts will grow, as DOC and CalTrans fear worst and CTA says Prop 98 Test 2 future depends on SEIU. Steinberg to hold big press conference.  Torey van Oot and Jim Sanders Capitol Alert

How Cap Weekly’s Top 100 did in budget deal: Who’s up: Brown, Blakeslee, Blumenfield. Who’s down: Newsom, Harris, Strickland. Revised list in this week’s print edition. Staff of Capitol Weekly

Brown shuns radio invite to talk budget and Kings future: Not content with destroying one-tenth of the nation’s economy, Jerry Brown has shown true cowardice by refusing to come on the air with me to discuss what his so-called “agreement” means for the future of NBA basketball in Sacramento. Go Tribe! Eric Hogue Hoguenews

Good guys win, bad guys headed to deepest pit of hell: Whatever else you can say about the big budget deal Gov. Brown reached with the obstinate, obstructionist, just-say-no Republicans, my clients made out like bandits. Steven Maviglio California Majority Report

Why is this a surprise? The always weak California press corps, which is even more decimated now,  is shocked that Jerry Brown cut a budget deal with Republicans. Boy, are they stupid. I knew it all along. All of it. Really. As I wrote before. I’m not surprised at all. Huffington Post

Podcast: Brown budget combines taxes and spending: Jerry Brown said he would seek a “balance” in a new budget. Did he do it? What is balance anyway? Is it the same as “balanced?” How about a “balancing act?” Are they, existentially speaking, the same thing? Or not?  Listen as Anthony York and I talk to each other. John Myers Capital Notes

Schwarzenegger says Brown’s lack of love child helped him balance budget: Former Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger admits that he would have done a better job managing the state’s finances if he could have only managed to keep his pants zipped. “They told me I couldn’t ‘hold my own’ in Sacramento,” he said in a prepared statement. “So I figured, if I can’t hold my own, who will? I’m sorry it led to this.” Mark Z. Barabak in the Los Angeles Times

Calbuzz: Budget Deal Little Pulitzers: Sex! Drugs! Scandal! Jerry Roberts and Phil Trounstine Calbuzz

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There are 5 comments for this post

  1. avatar chrisfinnie says:

    Calbuzz has an office? Who knew?

  2. avatar Ernie Konnyu says:

    Congratulations…I think!!? Or are you trying too hard to be too absurd? But, nevertheless, you remain in character!

  3. avatar cbarney says:

    ok, lessee, you flog a story to death in a style so hip no one can figure out what is going on,,, and then you announce that you’re bored with it. (you actually lay this ennui to the readers, but that’s a transparent projection.

    as someone who is laboring in a predictive dialing sweatshop, calling people in foreign districts to ask them to call their assemblyperson and ask him/her to be a sport and support the governor, i wish to hell someone would do some straight reporting on the topic. the people i talk with are all too familiar with the budget problem – they tend to groan when i ask them – but they are at a loss for what to do. call rep. x and beg? it does sound kind of feeble.

    so as a tiny minority, i urge you to stick with the story. surely you have some sources who will hint at when – or even just if – and how the deal is going down. throw us a bone instead of a horse laugh.

  4. avatar GeoHagop says:

    In a startling reversal, Cal Republicans decide to out-democrat the Democrats: doubling down on Community College funding by taxing resource extraction, derivative transactions and the hot air emissions of coward jaundiced politicians.

  5. avatar phildept says:

    “Horse laugh” is unfair. These parodies of commentators are terrific–they get the flavor and typical attitudes and air of authority, and they bristle with balloon-popping pins. Thank you, and please keep them coming.
    And there’s something else about these parodies–I think we could, after we stop laughing, those of us with remnants of senses of humor, do some serious analysis about the quality of our political commentators in the State of California. Thanks to Kevin Yamamura for the tip to look at this.

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