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Trump Says His Penis Qualifies Him to be President

Mar4

trumphandsThe Republican presidential debate on Thursday night demonstrated again that the front runner – narcissistic billionaire Donald Trump – has no serious domestic or foreign policies and at the same time, that none of that matters to the authoritarians who are supporting him.

Senators Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, and especially Gov. John Kasich, spoke with considerable specificity about their plans for taxes, the economy and international affairs, while Trump responded to most questions with insults, slogans and word salad. (Kasich was the only adult on the debate stage.)

So what? Nothing changes, except that following Mitt Romney’s speech Thursday calling Trump a fraud and a con man, it’s now clear that Republican regulars – beltway GOP elites and their patrons – are desperate to find a way to prevent Trump from winning a majority of delegates to the Republican National Convention in Cleveland. That would make it possible on a second, third or fourth ballot to throw the nomination to someone else.

delegatesAs we noted the other day, this is the crucial battle for the GOP regulars right now: Their drive to prevent Trump from winning the 1,237 delegates needed for a first-ballot victory in Cleveland. That wouldn’t — as MSNBC’s Chris Matthews and other beltway bloviators argue — subvert democracy:  to win the nomination, you have to win a majority.

It would, however, tear the Republican Party apart. But Republican Senators and Congressmen who now enjoy majority control don’t really care: They’d rather have a Democratic president and control of Congress. Their fear is that with Trump at the top of the ticket, they’d lose seats and likely control of Congress.

Most importantly, Trump guaranteed us that despite what Rubio has alleged, his hands and penis aren’t small : “Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And, he referred to my hands, if they’re small something else must be small. I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.” So clearly he’s qualified to be president. He trashed “Little Marco” and “Lyin’ Ted.” He deflected every substantive question. And none of that is likely to affect the current standings in the Republican race.

The putz is still the favorite.

littlesmokiesP.S. Trump even lied about whether he’s ever heard the charge that his hands (and by implication) his penis are small. “He hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands,” Trump said.

But as ABC reported:

Nearly 30 years ago, Graydon Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair magazine, described Trump in Spy magazine as a “short-fingered vulgarian.”

In an editor’s letter in “Vanity Fair” last November, Carter said that he wrote the Sky magazine comment in 1988 “just to drive him a little bit crazy.” And according to Carter, it still does. “Like so many bullies, Trump has skin of gossamer,” Carter wrote in November.

“To this day, I receive the occasional envelope from Trump. There is always a photo of him—generally a tear sheet from a magazine. On all of them he has circled his hand in gold Sharpie in a valiant effort to highlight the length of his fingers,” Carter wrote. “I almost feel sorry for the poor fellow because, to me, the fingers still look abnormally stubby.”

“The most recent offering arrived earlier this year, before his decision to go after the Republican presidential nomination,” Carter continued. “Like the other packages, this one included a circled hand and the words, also written in gold Sharpie: ‘See, not so short!’ I sent the picture back by return mail with a note attached, saying, ‘Actually, quite short.'”


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There are 9 comments for this post

  1. avatar konnyu says:

    The most powerful leader America has seen in a long time is reduced to things like putz in your column. Your ideological blind eye is killing your intellect. Wake up!

    • avatar Sideline says:

      Oh, Ernie, please. Any candidate for your Party’s nomination who brags about his schwanz has earned the sobriquet “putz.” Imagine Dwight Eisenhower on that stage, or Bob Dole or even the execrable Pete Wilson, and contemplate how far the GOP has swirled into the maelstrom. You know, when one of your Party’s best Presidents suggested the idea of “Speak softly and carry a big stick,” I rather doubt that he meant what your putative leader so clearly implied.

    • avatar pjhackenflack says:

      Nice one, Sideline.

    • avatar I.F.Stone says:

      Trump Airlines? Trump University? Trump Vodka? Trump mortgages? Trump casinos? Trump magazine? Trump steaks? Trump-the board game? GoTrump.com? A travel agency site.

      Yeah, Ernie, he’s a leader by gosh.

    • avatar I.F.Stone says:

      Trump Ice? (bottled water) Trump Tower Tampa? The New Jersey Generals (a USFL football team. Folded a year after Trump took control as did the entire league. Trump was blamed by the other league owners for it failing), Trump Network (vitamin supplements).

  2. avatar konnyu says:

    After tag teamed last night by Cruz on ideology and Rubio on personals he came out punching hard to another standing room only crowd this morning in Michigan. What a powerful leader for America. All the way with Trump!

  3. avatar I.F.Stone says:

    This seems to be the national topic of the moment.

    I recalled reading a Time mag article about five years ago about a Korean medical study, published in the Asian Journal of Andrology, that penile length had NO correlation to a man’s height, the size of a man’s hands, or the length of his fingers.

    But there WAS a correlation of penile length to the RATIO between the length of a man’s index (pointing) finger and his ring finger.

    The shorter your index finger is compared to your ring finger on the same hand, the LONGER the penis.

    (OK, guys. ‘Fess up. How many of you stopped just now and looked at the ratio of these two fingers on your own hand?)

    So girls, if you go out with a 6’8″ man with long fingers, but his ring finger is almost even with or longer than his index finger….he’s got a small penis.

    If that kind of thing makes a difference to you.

    Everybody reading this column and my post can judge for yourself if Trump has any “problems down there…,” as Trump so coyly put it last night.

    Here is the article.

    http://healthland.time.com/2011/07/06/penis-size-it-may-be-written-in-the-length-of-his-fingers/

    This link is to a WebMD article on the same study.

    http://www.webmd.com/men/news/20110705/study-penis-size-linked-to-length-of-fingers

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