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The Full Carly: Incompetence, Hubris and Nastiness

May5

newcarly2Having crashed Hewlett-Packard’s stock, destroyed H-P’s legendary civility and been fired as CEO; having been bounced as a spokesperson for John McCain’s presidential campaign, and having lost spectacularly in the race for U.S. Senate in California, what could make more sense than for Carly Fiorina to announce she’s running for president.

Of the United States.

natashaThere truly are no bounds to the delusional ego of this woman, who once put her own portrait on the wall between Bill Hewlett and David Packard, the revered founders of the Palo Alto company she damn near destroyed. Better she should have slapped up a picture of her doppelganger – Natasha Fatale, Boris Badenov’s nasty sidekick.

Fiorina, who recently blamed environmentalists for the “man-made drought” in California, is trying to reinvent her business resume, although she was picked as one of the worst CEOs of all time by, among others, Portfolio magazine, which wrote:

“A consummate self-promoter, Fiorina was busy pontificating on the lecture circuit and posing for magazine covers while her company floundered.”

Back in 2009, Media Matters assembled a concise collection of quotes, sources and data outlining Fiorina’s heartless firing of some 18,000 employees and outsourcing H-P jobs, her disastrous corporate leadership, insider and coercive tactics and policies intentionally undercutting U.S. sanctions on Iran, among other issues.

One example:

Forbes: Hewlett-Packard Exported Goods To Dubai To Open Up Markets In Iran. In the April 12, 2004 issue a Forbes magazine story titled “Trading With The Enemy” reported, “If you want to get around export controls, just sell the product to a front company in Dubai. The middlemen will take it from there… Hewlett-Packard, Dell and Microsoft, among many other U.S. companies, keep Dubai offices and are favorites these days among Iranian traders in Dubai. Reason? Strong demand for ‘anything high-tech for military or oil services,’ says Bolurfrushan of the Iranian Business Council.” [Forbes, 4/12/04]

For a comprehensive look at this issue, our own “what did Carly know and when did she know it” resides in the trusty Calbuzz archive.

And in her spare time: Carly keeps finding new ways to offend and outrage decent-thinking people. Recently, she said there was “nothing objectionable” in the original Indiana law allowing discrimination against gays in housing (before it was “reformed”), arguing the opposition was a “ginned up controversy.”

A staunch opponent of abortion and comprehensive immigration reform, Fiorina never had a chance of becoming a U.S. Senator from California. And while those positions might keep her from getting booed off the stage at conservative Republican gatherings in Iowa and South Carolina, they are death to her chances of ever becoming president.

What is most astounding is that she has managed to convince otherwise sane national political reporters to treat her with anything other than utter contempt. Which is what veterans of  her misadventures in California have for her.

clowncarPolitico has a complete run-down of the political professionals she has hired to run her campaign. But despite all the high-priced talent, Ms New Economy seems to have overlooked one teensy item — failing to secure the carlyfiorina.org internet domain, which now belongs to an anonymous critic. Oops.

In other news: Retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson and full-time Bible thumper Mike Huckabee, both have jumped into the GOP presidential contest, further crowding the clown car.


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There are 16 comments for this post

  1. avatar Hank Plante says:

    And let’s not forget one of the greatest political ads of all time, “Demon Sheep.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKWlOxhSIKk

  2. avatar bth100 says:

    Lol. We get it. Republicans have to be perfect* to get merely decent treatment by you (has it ever happened?). And Democrats… well Democrats can be Hillary and get your full-throated endorsements.

    * Perfect adjective /pərfikt/ Having all the elements of a democrat.

  3. avatar sqrjn says:

    ok so Carly is ridiculous, but is it totally impossible that she becomes a VP candidate? isnt everyone already assuming that is her game plan? or do you guys really believe she is just being rolled by political operatives who know how to work her self-intoxication?

    • avatar pjhackenflack says:

      Sqrjn: short answer is yes. POTUS or veep, she’s a terrible national candidate, not least because her dependence on Palin-like sarcasm will never wear well.

  4. avatar GaryRJP64 says:

    Carly should have gotten a refund from her plastic surgeon. That face job is awful.

  5. avatar bth100 says:

    Whoops! Other domain names currently available include: calbuzz.org; calbuzz.net; calbuzz.info; calbuzz.biz; philtrounstine.com. You know, in case some enterprising individual wanted to purchase those for the purpose of mocking this site’s examples of fine journalism.

    • avatar pjhackenflack says:

      If Calbuzz were running for president, this might matter. If anyone wants any of those calbuzz domains, they’re welcome to them. Frankly, my dear, we don’t give a damn.

  6. avatar Lord Schmoo says:

    I think it’d awesome if some “enterprising individual” tried to do a Calbuzz parody site. It wouldn’t be funny, of course, but it would be amusing to see someone as humorless as bth100 give it a whack.

  7. avatar A.G. Block says:

    Fiorina’s candidacy has historical precedents, y’know. Or did you forget Pat Paulson? Listen, 2016 promises to be dreadful. If no one steps up to provide real entertainment, we all might go off the deep end. At least the Republican Party is making a good-faith effort.

  8. avatar bth100 says:

    I agree with lord schmoe… a parody site of a parody site wouldn’t work. The snark over the website issue is pure pettiness, but then again that’s what we expect when we come here.

  9. avatar tonyseton says:

    As regards the media taking Fiorina seriously, the NYT went so far as to say “Ms. Fiorina brings strong business acumen.” Nuts.

  10. avatar Ernie Konnyu says:

    What a hateful hatchet job by you Demos on a Presidential candidate with zero approval rating and no threat to win the Republican nomination for President.. And you would know if you thought it out that her anti-Hillary campaign does not really matter. So, shame on you for bashing a woman tough enough and courageous enough to go against the tide for the grand prize!

    While she is not Presidential material, the immensely talented Carly Fiorina could help America lower our annual trade deficit as America’s next Secretary of Commerce.

  11. avatar panterazero says:

    “Republicans have to be perfect to get merely decent treatment by you (has it ever happened?)” Have R*s ever been perfect? Or have they ever been treated decently by Calbuzz? Experience suggests that the latter is more likely.

    And, Ernie, if you thought that was a hatchet job on Carly, you’re thin-skinned. As someone who followed her career in real time, I thought it was charitable.

  12. avatar Bob Mulholland says:

    Fiorina will get 852 votes in New Hampshire.

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