Veteran Calbuzz readers know that our proven formula for producing a hard-hitting, incisive political web site is simple: two parts news and analysis and one part fart jokes.
So it was with delight that we witnessed our Great and Good Governor using Calbuzz-approved language to describe the reeking little $24,000 ad buy that Texas Gov. Rick “Three Things” Perry announced, attacking California’s business climate and encouraging companies to locate in the Lone Star state.
“It’s not a serious story, guys,” Gandalf told reporters. “It’s not a burp. It’s barely a fart. . . If they want to get in the game, let them spend $25 million on radio and television. Then I’ll take them seriously.”
Not even flatus. Which itself wouldn’t have been a story except that the Governor Brown’s lips moved when the words came out and so “fart” was news. Which is news to the old farts around Calbuzz World Headquarters.
Speaking of malodorous: When it comes to noxious gas, even Rick Perry’s little raspberry is swamped by the odiferous, odious outpourings emanating from the Republicans in Washington who want Latinos to believe they’ve seen the light at the end of the túnel.
For the better part of three years, we’ve urged the Republican Party to line up behind a policy calling for a pathway to citizenship for illegal immigrants if the GOP wants to have any chance at all of winning Latino votes. With Barack Obama winning more than seven in 10 Latino votes in 2012 election, Republicans in Washington have begun to get the message.
For the sake of their own political survival, a handful of Republican senators have begun to inch their way toward legislation that would provide a circuitous, obtuse pathway to citizenship — and at least give Republicans some immigration policy to point to other than electrified fences and mass deportations.
The “four pillars” of the compromise plan being crafted in the Senate are:
— A “tough but fair” path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants already living in the United States, but only after bolstering the nation’s border security;
— Overhauling the country’s legal immigration system, including attaching green cards to advanced degrees in science, technology, engineering, or math from U.S. universities;
— Establishing an employment verification system that holds employers accountable for hiring undocumented workers;
— Creating a guest-worker program for positions that Americans are either unable or unwilling to fill.
There are so many preconditions and caveats built into the pathway to citizenship (and even these don’t satisfy the right-wingers who see the whole deal as “amnesty”) that it’s hard to see how Latino voters would be fooled by the so-called compromise plan.
(BTW, we can’t wait to see how the Senate immigration plan goes over at the California Republican Party convention in March.)
It would be a shame if Democrats in Washington were to sell out the legitimate cry from Latinos for a simple and straightforward system by which the 11 million undocumented immigrants living in the U.S. and their foreign-born children can become legal residents.
Compounding frustration for Latinos while giving Republicans cover to hide from their anti-immigrant propensities would represent the nastiest whiffy gasbaggery from Washington’s Democrats.