Hump Day Grab Bag: God, Satan, STDs, Circumcision
We were going to take a day off today but there are some items zipping around the internets that we just couldn’t pass up.
Over in Las Vegas on Tuesday, Gov. Jerry Brown — sometimes known as the Silver Fox — is reported to have accused some state legislators of holding “the notion that taxes are like some kind of sexually transmitted disease.”
What an insult! To people who actually have STDs – to have their condition compared to the minds of legislators. The report we read didn’t say whether the audience clapped.
Lord Knows: And then there was Michele Bachmann’s suggestion that God unleashed an earthquake and hurricane on Washington and the Eastern Seaboard in order to get peoples’ attention about bloated government. Said Bachmann to a campaign gathering in Florida:
“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”
She was just joking, her spokespeople said later. Ha, ha.
We were also struck by Andy Borowitz’s take on former Vice President Dick Cheney’s new book:
Cheney’s Book Features Foreword by Satan
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Publishing circles were abuzz today with the news that the new memoir by former Vice President Dick Cheney features a foreword by an unusual contributor: Satan.
In his introduction, the Prince of Darkness said he rarely reads political memoirs but made an exception in the case of Mr. Cheney “because we had worked so closely together in the past.”
When he began to read the Cheney manuscript, however, the Lord of Misrule said he was “surprised” by what he found.
“Quite honestly, I couldn’t put it down,” Satan wrote. “It was almost like a book I would have written myself.”
And then there was a report from our old friend, KCBS reporter Doug Sovern on Twitter:
SovernNation Doug Sovern CA State Senate cuts short SF attempt to outlaw male circumcision, by unanimously okaying bill that bars local govts from passing such bans
To which we replied: Thanks for the tip.
To which Doug responded: Sorry, it was just a snippet.
Now we really are off for a nap.
If you look closely at Bachmann’s eyes in that forever-famous corndog photo, you’ll understand what a performer she is.
Did Michele consider that corn dog part of her morbid obesity diet? Outside of the Repo party, people who believe that God is speaking directly to them are on medication. Maybe Michele should go to someone besides her (obviously not gay) husband for a psych eval. It might help. Really.
Did you see the pic of Michele feeding the corn dog to her hubby? He looks like a little girl eating a worm. It’s hysterical. The one of Rick Perry is every bit as good. He looks like a sword swallower with at least a foot of the thing down his throat. I guess in Texas even their bites are big. Anyway, much hilarity with corn dogs.
But I agree with you about the medication, rubber rooms, and funny coats with long sleeves. All are in order for most of the field. And Tony is right about Michele’s eyes. Scary! The few who don’t qualify for these standard treatments seem to be dropping like flies. Tells you something about the Republican base, GOP donors, or–goddess forbid!–the American electorate.
Is that a circumcision clamp Michele is holding in her free hand?